January 21st 2011:
Happy birthday to my wonderful mom!! I will not forget to call you tonight when I get home.I love living in Seattle, but sometimes it seems way too far from my family. A few years ago, I tried going back to the AZ to be closer, but man, that did not work out. I am sorry, Phoenix, but I hate you. You are narrow-minded, culturally stunted, you smell like the filth of a thousand bums' armpits (on bad days, it verges on sweat-soaked, unwashed asscracks... eeew), and god-damn, are you sweltering hot 70% of the year!
I read today that out of 35 cities surveyed, Phoenix/Scottsdale ranked #12 for rudeness, 30 for it's neighborhoods and 28 for being "cultural" - pretty bad, folks - so I send this plea:
Dear Family, please move somewhere else, anywhere else (except maybe Detroit... or Baltimore...). If you do, I promise to visit more... I'm sorry I don't do it now, but if I asked you to pay for a $300 flight to spend a weekend in hell, would you do it?
Okay, I'm being harsh... but have you been to Phoenix? Ugh.
In other news, I totally splurged on eyeshadow today... well, I had a gift card, so it wasn't really a splurge, but it felt like it... sephora.com is a dangerous, dangerous place...
No comments:
Post a Comment