Mondays Suck

January 31st 2011:
That is all.

Bride of Frankenstein Tattoo - #6

January 28th & 29th 2011:

Just never got around to blogging yesterday... spent the morning hanging out with the husband and pooches, then the afternoon doing my 6th tattoo and first attempt at a portrait... I did this Bride of Frankenstein on the inside of my calf, and man, did it make me wish I had kept up on yoga. I had to bend into some pretty awkward positions to get to the backside of the hair and to the front of her face. Yikes!

So, the background isn't finished and it still needs to be tightened up, but mostly it is done - after 2 and a half hours, I just couldn't keep going... tattooing and being tattooed at the same time is pretty tiring, and my muscles were super pissed at being stretched all funny... oh well. I'll get back to it next month.... plus I had a show I needed to be at.

So, I wrapped up the tattoo, cleaned up my workspace, threw on some clothes and booked it down the street to the Josephine to watch Curse of the North and Grenades play. While passing the flask with the ladies, I was also introduced to a new beverage - yellow panty dropper - which is vodka, beer and lemonade. The combo sounds disgusting, and it looked like urine, but tasted rather fantastic... Thanks Liz and Mary for sharing!

Today, I am just going to do some drawing then relax, and nurse this mild hangover and achy/burny leg...

A Day as Gray as a Gray Kitten; Lips as Pink as Cotton Candy

January 28th 2011:

Ever have those days where nothing seems to work out? That was yesterday for me. Everything I attempted yesterday ended in frustration and failure, I tripped on every crack in the sidewalk, I broke my headphones, I spilled my coffee, dropped my food, every computer I touched crashed... seriously. Not exaggerating.

It was bad.

Today seems to be noncommittal. Nothing bad has happened, and nothing good. Today is a solid shade of smoky gray.

I can live with that.

But it is Friday, which means tomorrow I can wake up when I want to, do what I want to, or do nothing at all, if the mood strikes, and that ain't too shabby, eh?

**self portrait done in a 10 minute work break using Microsoft's paint program

Got a Light?

January 27th 2011:

Grumpy... uncomfortable... tired... and in the midst of an epic project. Need it to be finished tonight, for my own sanity. I tend to get a wee bit obsessive about these types of things.

Karoshi or Which Way's North?

January 26th 2011:

Got all nice and rested up yesterday. I really needed a recharge, but I am already starting to feel drained again.

Read about this epidemic in Japan called Karoshi - people are working themselves to death... putting in so many hours, so much stress, they just keel over dead of heart failure or strokes.

Craziness

I have to say, the U.S. is on well on its way (if its not already - much like the folks at Disneyland, the US government likes to sweep unsavory death statistics under the rug).

According to a study released by Harvard and McGill University researchers in 2007, the U.S. is one of 4 countries out of 173, who's government does not guarantee paid maternity leave for any sector of the workforce (the other 3 countries: Liberia, Swaziland & Paupa New Guinea ). 137 countries polled mandate paid annual leave (121 of these guarantee 2 weeks or more), but, you guessed it, the U.S. doesn't require employers to provide paid leave...

And the best one: 145 countries provide paid sick days - more than 81 "provide sickness benefits for at least 26 weeks or until recovery"... what does the U.S. do? NOTHING! well, let's be fair... we can get UNPAID leave for "serious" illness through the FMLA (if you are lucky enough to be covered)...

P.S. I pulled these stats from that 2007 study, which you can look over yourself here.

Eye Look Like Shit

January 25th 2011:
Home sick from work - today is a day for doing absolutely nothing.
I will not get dressed
I will not get the mail
I will not pull the trashcan in from the curb
I will not do laundry
I will not vacuum or sweep
I will not be unhappy

The End.

Lurking Dark Rooms

January 24th 2011:

Our father, who art in heaven,
save me from this wreck I'm about to drown in.
Didn't I learn anything counting out
my sins on rosary beads?

- Cursive "Some Red Handed Sleight of Hand"

Couldn't sleep again last night. 2:30am and I am roaming dark rooms - living room, kitchen, bathroom, back to the kitchen - looking for something I already know I won't find. I can't keep my head from churning, no matter how hard I try to kill the thoughts, the images, the ideas. I counted to 347 before I got out of bed.

Something better is on the horizon... the horizon is just so damn far away.

Lazy, Lazy, Lazy

January 23rd 2011:

Man, woke up at 4am dehydrated, my head thumping and my leg on fire. I spent about 5 minutes scrounging in the dark for a bottle of water (Chris likes to scatter them about on random shelves, bookcases and end tables) and another two clumsily trying to get the childproof top off a bottle of aspirin - not the easiest thing when you are half asleep and balanced on the edge between drunk and hungover. The mission was successful, though, and I managed to fall back asleep for a few more hours.

I have Mary to thank for the hangover. She came to visit last night, and with her came a lovely bottle of wine... sometimes wine is the best thing on the planet. I think I appreciate it more now that I have to limit my intake (and apparently I feel it more, too - I have become an ultimate lightweight). After killing the bottle, we headed to Chupacarbra with our respective dudes, had a couple more drinks and some delicious Mexican food. All in all, a damn fine evening.

Sadly, the consequence was that today I felt like doing absolutely nothing (including writing this blog post)... that and my leg is all burny and sore from the tattooing yesterday. Whining aside, sometimes a lazy day is much needed, mentally and physically... a couple crap movies later (oh, salt... sigh), and I am feeling human again.

If only tomorrow wasn't Monday....

A New Tattoo

January 22nd 2011:

Woke up raring to get going today... made sure I was properly caffeinated, ate some raspberry danish, then, tattoo time!

I decided to experiment with shading and make a first attempt at doing something somewhat realistic... so, two hours and ten minutes later, this skull emerged.... the background will come at a later date... I'm thinking roses and calla lilies.

Not too bad for my 5th tattoo, eh?

Happy B-day Mom!

January 21st 2011:

Happy birthday to my wonderful mom!! I will not forget to call you tonight when I get home.

I love living in Seattle, but sometimes it seems way too far from my family. A few years ago, I tried going back to the AZ to be closer, but man, that did not work out. I am sorry, Phoenix, but I hate you. You are narrow-minded, culturally stunted, you smell like the filth of a thousand bums' armpits (on bad days, it verges on sweat-soaked, unwashed asscracks... eeew), and god-damn, are you sweltering hot 70% of the year!

I read today that out of 35 cities surveyed, Phoenix/Scottsdale ranked #12 for rudeness, 30 for it's neighborhoods and 28 for being "cultural" - pretty bad, folks - so I send this plea:
Dear Family, please move somewhere else, anywhere else (except maybe Detroit... or Baltimore...). If you do, I promise to visit more... I'm sorry I don't do it now, but if I asked you to pay for a $300 flight to spend a weekend in hell, would you do it?

Okay, I'm being harsh... but have you been to Phoenix? Ugh.

In other news, I totally splurged on eyeshadow today... well, I had a gift card, so it wasn't really a splurge, but it felt like it... sephora.com is a dangerous, dangerous place...

Bitch

January 20th 2011:

So hard to get out of bed and down the street today. The blankets seemed especially warm and cozy. Billie and Roland were completely crashed out in little puppy balls beside me, which is rare. Usually they are my anatomical alarm clocks, up and ready to head outside right at 5:30am, their cold, wet noses poking my face until I get up and free them to do their backyard business.

Feeling less under the weather than I was yesterday, but it's still early (7:15am). Chris rubbed my shoulder and it seems to be better for now, as well... we'll see.
For now, time to get to work... more later.


Well, it's later (9:55pm to be exact). About 10 minutes after finishing the paragraph above, the shoulder tweaked out again. I made it through the work day - I am becoming a one-handed typing pro - and planned to go home and stay as far away from computers as possible. Sadly, this was not to be the case.

Rather, I got home, made a feeble dinner of broccoli and black beans & rice (Cajun-style), fed the pooches, then was told the CD art I was working on had to be done immediately. So, three more hours of computer time for me, navigating between photoshop and illustrator, making adjustments, adding text, creating an additional 11x17 poster, then plugging it all into frustrating templates courtesy of the printer.

On the up-side, the job is done and my weekend is freed up for personal artistic endeavors.
On the down side, my shoulder is now shooting messages to the brain that go something like this, "please, muscle relaxers, please" and "why did you do this to me, you evil cow" and finally, "die, bitch"

Sadly, I am not a fan of nor do I have any muscle relaxers, so, out of sympathy for my shoulder, I will stop typing now and go beg the husband to rub my shoulder.

Goodnight!

Office Shot

January 19th 2011:

So tired this morning... having trouble sleeping again. Damn brain won't shut up. I'm worried about my right shoulder at the moment. It hurts so bad I can barely use it, and one-handed typing ain't the jam. Also, my throat is swollen and sore, looks like I caught Chrissy-pissy's cold after all. Damn.

I was planning to tattoo today, but this whole arm/shoulder thing is really bumming out my plan. Also, I need a Mac compatible dot matrix printer... wonder where I can find one of those...

Anyhow, this is about all the typing I can handle for now... I think I hear some crap tv show calling....

It's All Roses

January 18th 2011:

Back to work after a long weekend... man, it's hard. I really want the time to sink into the whole tattooing thing - if I could just eliminate sleep from my equation, all would be well.

Stopped by ye olde bookstore on lunch today and picked up a copy of "High Voltage" by Kat Von D, hoping for some pointers. I have to say, the woman can really rock out and awesome portrait and her lettering is to die for.

Came home and decided to work on rose, a staple of the tattoo world, and so, so pretty... busted out the sharpie and did a free hand practice sketch on my right palm... not too bad for a slop job, if I do say so... perhaps tomorrow I will commit some leg space to the real deal.

A girl's gotta learn, and I am itching for some skin to work on, my is as good as any, eh?

Wannabe

January 17th 2011:

Wow, a whole day all to myself. It seems like forever since this has happened. I love my people, but man, sometimes this girl just needs some solitude to work out the kinks in her brain.

I had really hope to accomplish more today, but time flies when you're trying to get shit done. Chris will be home in 15 minutes... time to put away all the mic cords, shut down garageband and stow those pitiful little musical urges I get until another day.

Beside, I'm getting hungry, and the hunger must be obeyed.

Ignorance is Bliss

January 16th 2011:

So, today was the big day... bath day for Billie and Roland. Not a big deal unless you consider that Roland is 130 pounds of super strong, thrashing, terrified-of-water dog. Last time we gave him a bath, it took a slab of smoked brie to get him into the tub. Sadly, we had no brie on hand today, so Chris said, let use butter... all good except Roland nabbed the entire stick of butter and swallowed it, wrapper and all, while we were still discussing whether or not butter was a good idea... I swear he must be part velociraptor. So, a tablet of Xanax and a jar of peanut butter later, we got him into the bathroom, then into the tub. I had pre-filled 9 buckets with water (he freaks out when you turn the tap on) to get him wet, then rinse him with, and I have to say, it worked perfectly. He was sopping wet and soapy before he realized what was happening.

Billie, on the other hand, is the opposite. She hopped right in the tub and happily licked peanut butter off the sire of the bathtub while we scrubbed her head to tail.

All in all, it was less of an ordeal than I had anticipated, both dogs are stoked to be clean and brushed, and are currently passed out from all the excitement.

Watched "Food Inc" last night. I already knew most of what what in the documentary, but I have to say, seeing it made me want to never go to the grocery store again. I have no clue how anyone could eat a fast food burger (or non-organic meat in general) after seeing that... I might write more on this another time, but for now, I plan to empty out my fridge (goodbye genetically modified ketchup) and remain silently creeped out.

Plans for tonight... perhaps a new tattoo? Maybe finish up some songs? Maybe watch some crap TV?

Decisions, decisions.....

A Day for Me

January 15th 2011:

Today started out pretty good. I made hash brown, toast and eggs and managed not to burn anything (a real accomplishment for me) and had my twice a week breakfast with the husband (still not used to that word, even a little).

I had a lot of art projects to catch up, and managed to get them mostly done... a flyer, and album cover and a t-shirt design all finished and off my plate... a sigh of relief... also had some free time do play with photoshop a bit... end result, me as a cemetery statue.

So, I saw on mns.com that Gwyneth Paltrow has a blog called GOOP, and somehow managed to piss enough working mommies off to make it onto the mns homepage... that said, I had to read the post that pissed all these mamas off, and I must say, it was kind of a shock. She and a couple friends outlined their days with helpful time-saving tips for the working mom. Some of the gems they offered up: Multitask by doing your post-aerobics-dance class stretches in the shower with "the conditioner works its magic" on your hair; rather than taking time out of each day to get a mani, pedi and facial, find a spa that will do all three at once (what a time saver! I really have a hard time fitting my daily spa treatment in... seriously); having trouble staying motivated to exercise each day? Well, hire a personal trainer to come to your house Monday mornings to work you out in your home gym, duh...

Who knew the wealthy were that out of touch with us working folks? I mean, really... when do you think the last time one of these folks even talked to a poor, or even middle class, person was (excluding waiters, personal trainers and the girls working at the spa)... okay, so maybe that sounds totally naive, but really. People are shocking in their general cluelessness.

The next thing this makes me think of is politics... I'm not going to rant, but just point out that most politicians are wealthy, and not the self-made man kind of wealthy (for example, I once read that Bush Senior admitted he had never entered a grocery store before the day he had to do some meet-n-greet at one)... and these guys are the folks making policies on our healthcare, taxes, etc... how can that be good for "joe plumber"?

So, anyway, time to get off this damn computer and go russell up some dinner....

Friday!!!

January 14th 2011:

Friday, sweet Friday! Freedom is so close I can almost touch it (how's that for melodrama)... a 3 day weekend, no hateful Monday. I am so excited.
There are too many things on my to do list at the moment. I have a couple tattoos to draw up, a flyer to make, an album cover to design, a t-shirt design to finish, a heaping pile of laundry to wash, two dogs to bathe and give pedicures to, an empty refrigerator to replenish, jewelery boxes to paint, a song to finish writing, a painting to to pack and ship, and an overloaded hard drive to clean out.... somewhere in there, I was hoping to have a little tiny bit of time to chill out...

...but three days goes by real fast.

One of those "oh well" kinda days

January 13th 2011:

Well, today was a total dud. A perfect example of a soul-sucking routine. I'm ashamed to say this was my day:

Up at 5:30 am
Suck down cup of coffee
Smoke cigarette
Get dressed
Brush teeth and do makeup
run for the bus
8 hours of staring at a computer screen
created several graphs in excel (oooh, exciting)
run for the bus
home again
re-heat leftover pizza
eat said pizza
feed dogs
take shower
find the couch and remote control
watch Dollhouse (which really isn't all that awesome)
go to bed.

This makes me sad. The end.

A Long Walk

January 12th 2011:

Woke up to pouring rain. The sidewalks were covered in a crust of snow floating on 2 inch deep puddles of water. Needless to say, it was a pleasant walk to the bus stop.
My brain is sluggish today, thoughts just aren't coming as quick as they usually do, and my eyes won't focus on the computer screen. Seems like a case of the mid-week exhaustions.
Today, I really will get to that pile of laundry, and perhaps I will watch some TV rather than pretend to be ambitious or artistic or anything. The excitement never ends, eh?

All Day, Thinking it was Thursday... Sigh

January 11th 2011:

Why is it that randomly buying things makes you feel better about life? It seems sick and wrong and shallow, but it is so totally true. Did I NEED the super thick, super soft, super cute stocking cap I bought today?
No.
I had a perfectly adequate hat on already.
Did my brain NEED the hat I bought today?
Hell yes.
And the shirt I bought, too... and it also needed the sweater dress I tried on, but sadly, they did not have my size.
And I have to say, I feel pretty happy right now, pretty content.
How long will the feeling last? Meh, who cares? For now, I am stoked that when I step outside, into the freezing (literally) rain and snow the weatherman predicts is coming, I will be wearing a new, adorable, warm hat on my head.
Last night, I had a glass (or two) of wine with my girl, Jessica. It was nice to sit around and shoot the shit, though, yet again, I stayed up far too late. That 5:30am alarm this morning was downright loathsome.
Tonight, I should probably get back to work... and maybe do that load of laundry that's been sitting in the machine since Friday... maybe.

P.S.

There was no rain or snow, weather man was wrong again, but I'm still stoked about the damn hat.

P.P.S

It started snowing. So pretty and peaceful.

Jessica's Shoes

January 10th 2011:

Customer service... what can I say? It has to be one of the most hateful jobs. People can be so ridiculous, unreasonable, offensive, stupid (the list can go on)... especially over the phone or via email.
Hint people, the meaner you are, the less likely I am to go out of my way to help you. It's common sense really. If you are a big, blustering asshole, you will be treated as such. Just saying.
And I really don't get people who are jerks to waitstaff at restaurants. If you think you have never eaten a disgruntled waiter's saliva (or worse) you are mistaken. And you probably deserved it.
Mondays put me in a foul mood.
It was snowing earlier. It started just as I stepped off the bus. I wish I had a window in this here office, but then, I wish a lot of things...

...and later that day, home again, heater is fixed, Jessica stopped by for a visit, which reminded me of these shoes, which I promise I will return safely.

Oh, Sunday, You Bastard

January 9th 2011:

Okay, so maybe all that PBR last night was not such a good idea. Woke up with a wicked headache and thirsty as hell. Oh, and the damn heater is broken... AGAIN.
Landlord stop by to uselessly fiddle with the thermostat before telling us he has no idea how to fix the damn thing, and can we survive until Monday. Well, survive is a liberal term. I am still breathing, but I have lost feeling in my fingertips. It would be fine were we able to run more than one space heater at a time. Sadly, the ancient fuse box cannot handle it. So... Brrrrrrr.
Sundays are hard. I try to enjoy them, I really do, but with Monday hanging out just around the corner, it is difficult to really get the most out of the day.
On the upside, I got to spend some quality hang time with my lady, Mary, who educated me in the meaning of boococky, something everyone should know, really. I say this with more a hint of sarcasm, and will not repeat the definition here. Oh, the tangents a conversation can get on.

Where do words come from?

January 8th 2011:

Went to Goodwill today, looking for furniture items to paint... no luck. Seems no one is in the mood for cleaning out their homes. Can't say I blame them. The rain and cold does not inspire.
After my bomb of a shopping trip, Chris and I went to Chupacabra, where I indulged in a heaping plate of nachos - yum! Really, I should be doing a little post-holiday dieting, but man, I do not regret eating that entire tray of hot, cheese covered chips one bit.
The off to El Corazon for Chris Cab's annual birthday show - three dollar PBRs all night and a ridiculously fun G'n'R cover band, plus some quality hang time with folks I don't see anywhere near as often as I should - couldn't have asked for a better night, though I may pay for those beers in the morning...

Another Friday Night

January 7th 2011:

7:32 am. Rode the bus in the dark, the Misfits in the headphones. Ride, Johnny ride... the old Chinese man at the bus stop wondered if my cell phone had a thermometer in it - I checked the temperature for him. Old people are obsessed with the weather.
One day, there will be no one left alive that remembers the time we didn't have internet and cell phones and satellites. Life was more of an adventure when you had to leave the house without a phone. If you got lost, had an accident, ran out of gas, you had to figure shit out on your own. When you were out of your house, you were just out there... maybe in the middle of the Texas desert, not a light in site, nothing but you and the stars, or maybe on that stretch of I-5, winding through NoCal toward Oregon, trees and mountains and road, or maybe in the middle of Brooklyn, drunk and searching for a slice of pizza at 2am... Life was beautiful, exciting, sometimes scary.
Now it is google maps, yelp and 4-1-1. Everything is so goddamned comfortable. Technology is the death of revolution.

In other news, I did my fourth tattoo today... some lettering (a lot larger than I had originally understood it to be), stayed up way too late and unwisely drank a PBR. All in all, not a terrible night.

A Case of the Blahs

January 6th 2011:

Nothing much to report today. Feeling a little drained and a lot ready for the weekend.

I'm still having trouble typing 2011 instead of 2010... anyone else?

Bueller.... Bueller.... Bueller....?

My Heart Has Joined the Thousand

January 5th 2010:

Feeling inspired. It's a good feeling, one that can be hard to come by in the gloomy Seattle winter months, so I am embracing it.
I drew up a couple tattoos for friends, then decided to go for it and tattoo myself. Tattooing is one of the most frustrating mediums of art I have attempted. Generally, I get obsessed, dig in, create, create, create...but with tattoos, human canvases aren't exactly readily available at all hours, which led to me start staring at my legs, two viable drawing surfaces just hanging out - maybe it's not the smartest thing in the world to do, but then, I've always been more impulsive than smart about my decision making process.
I have to say, it was weird tattooing myself, but hey, a girl has gotta practice and learn.
All in all, it came out okay...

Casket for Sale

January 4th 2010:

Time is a strange thing. For instance, today time seems to be moving at a snail's pace. Yesterday an hour flashed by in a blink, but now each minute feels like a lifetime.
I am in the same place I was yesterday (behind my desk, at work), doing the same things I did yesterday (spreadsheets, reports, customer service), so theoretically, time should pass the same way it did yesterday.
Remember how epic and eternal summers felt as a kid? Now they come and go before I have a chance to get my vitamin D levels out of the toilet.
Does extreme boredom have the ability to bend time? It certainly can slow it down. Could boredome be the key to time travel? I mean, you could only go backwards, of course, but if one were to get so absolutely bored time slowed to a stop, then get even more bored than that, could they slip back an hour, a day, a year?
Anyhoo...
Enough nonsense. Perhaps I just need a nap. Or more coffee. Or both.

I saw this ad in the furniture for sale section on craigslist:

Casket-
brown exterior- could be painted
the lid is hinged and split
never been used
interior is white
you pick it up
will take best offer

Nice of the poster to note the casket it not used... now there is an untapped market, though, right? Used coffin sales. It's a million dollar idea.

(Dis)organized

January 3rd 2010:

Totally forgot to reset my alarm last night... started out the first work week of 2011 by running out the door for the bus with no coffee, no makeup, no shower... just enough time to pull on some pants and boots and brush my teeth. Sigh.
I am going to blame David Cross for this. He made me laugh, and laughter made me forget all about Monday morning and work. Again, sigh.
Also, it is freezing cold out. The upside to this, frozen dog shit is much easier to shovel than rained on dog shit. Oh, how I love Mondays.
Last night I decided it was time to clean house, starting with my poor computer and the millions of files clogging it up. I am terrible at cleaning... or more, at purging. I'm pretty quick with the dusting, the laundry, the vacuum, but man, when I have to get rid of stuff and make some space, I suck. I decided to start by clearing out my Garageband files. It began okay, one file deleted, one file condensed and labeled. Then I was left with 25 odd files with benign names like "My Song 18" or "Punk Song 3."
Unable to just delete these, I obsessively opened and listened to each one. Some of them contained multiple songs on multiple tracks. After the initial playback, I began reprogramming drum beats, rewriting lyrics, rerecording guitar lines. Needless to say, I ended my clean-a-thon with only one file deleted, new tracks added to two songs, and one entirely new file and entirely new song, now labeled "My Song 26." For the third time... sigh.
Perhaps tonight I will fare better...

All the Wasted Years Behind you

January 2nd 2011:

Day two of my effort to actually keep a journal of sorts. Generally, I have been opposed to such a thing. So many thoughts that go through my head should never be uttered aloud, let alone written out and posted to the web. The journals I kept when I was younger were all burned in a fit if teen angst (and fear that one day my mom or someone might actually find and read them.. gulp), a thing I have never regretted once. Who cares who I had a crush on when I was twelve, or that I thought I was fat, or that I wished I had cool clothes and hated velcro, JC Penny and Payless.

I sure as shit don't.

What I do regret burning are the good days. The ones where I was full of joy and hope and the future was unlimited. Today, Chris said he felt like life was accelerating, a statement that seems all too true. I look around now and have to say, "this is my life, this is where I am." That childhood feeling that right now was temporary and better things were just ahead has, like Elvis, exited the building. I am left now with the choice to accept this tedious thing I have or to put some fucking hard work in and build my own tomorrow (a task that sometimes feels impossibly hard).

Since I have always been terrible at accepting the mundane, I guess I will have to start doing the whole "hard work" thing. Do I want a life that is dictated by an alarm clock and a bus schedule?

Hell no!

A New Year, A New Decade

January 1st 2011:

Went to sleep at 4am and woke at 7am to let the dogs out, suck down a bottle of water and pop a few aspirin. Back in bed until 10:30, then time for coffee... lots of coffee. Poor Roland was stumbling around the entire day, a late reaction to the sedatives the vet prescribed to help get him through the new year's party the night before. Hopefully one day, the poor guy will learn to not be so afraid of everyone and everything.

Hangovers suck, but the only thing I really regret about the previous night is the glass of Kraken rum I drank. Probably could have done without that. I had intended to start the new year off with a bang... get to painting, draw up a couple tattoos for friends, maybe finish this song I started writing. Instead, I spent the day on the couch watching shitty movies and eating pizza with the hubby, but these things happen. And why does my neck hurt so bad? It kills. Hmmm.

Not sure why, but I was thinking of death a lot. It used to bother me, but not so much anymore. I see these little old ladies on the bus every morning, with their bleeding lipstick and withered skin, walkers and canes and square heeled shoes. Do I want to live that long? I think our bodies have a natural expiration date, and that's okay. Living too long seems like staying at a party way too late, when the hosts obviously just wish you'd go home so they could go to bed. It's just awkward. When the time is up, I plan to let it ride... on to sweet oblivion.

But, until then, I had better get to work - goal for the upcoming year: get out of the "just get through the work-week" rut I've been in, become my own boss and build a life for myself that I actually love.

That would definitely be okay.