F*@K My Life

March 30th 2011:

You know how they say a picture is worth a thousand words? This pretty much sums it up.

Drain You

March 29th 2011:

I have really been slacking on, well, everything the last week or so. I'm way behind on so many projects it's ridiculous and kind of overwhelming at this point.

Today, I have no words. What a drain.

All Tomorrow's Parties

March 27th 2011:

Sunday nights always a feel a little like death lately... the show's over, the party's ended, time to get back to that gray-ass reality life tends to suck you into if you don't watch your step.

I got nothing left to say, take it away Nico...

And what costume shall the poor girl wear

To all tomorrow's parties

A hand-me-down dress from who knows where

To all tomorrow's parties

And where will she go and what shall she do

When midnight comes around

She'll turn once more to Sunday's clown

And cry behind the door

Velvet Underground - All Tomorrow's Parties

I Got Sucker Punched

March 25th 2011:

What do evil step dads, giant samurais, undead steam-punk Nazis, orphan whores, dragons, killer robots and lobotomies all have in common?

Don't expect Sucker Punch to answer that question. And honestly, is that really a question that needs asking, let alone answering?

An incoherent, plotless foray into a world suited only for the most vapid of teenage minds, Sucker Punch managed to borrow from a half dozen other movies (Inception, Shutter Island, Girl Interrupted, the Matrix, Sin City to name a few) and pack every wanna-be-hipster-geek element into what basically amounted to crappy a two hour music video.

The only thing I got out of watching this movie was that writer/director Zack Snyder LOVES the slow-mo action scene (yeah, that never gets monotonous... yawn) and has a fetish for hot young things in slutty school girl/sailor girl outfits.

There was a sad attempt to provide some sort of a point via a flaccid voice over at the end of the flick, but it just left me asking one question... who wants their two hours back?

Me!

The Kurt V Bomb

March 23rd 2011:

In the wise words of Miss Scarlett O'Hara, "Fiddle-dee-dee."

My homage to Kurt Vonnegut, goodbye blue Monday!

The theme for today, fuck it.

I purchased a new liner machine with my last hundred bucks, and celebrated by giving myself this tattoo. I am over the monday-woes, all eyes are on the future... time for some changes

Boring

March 21st 2011:
Waiting sucks.
It makes me itchy
and bored
and tired.

Mondays also suck.
They feel like waiting.

I am ready to leave now.

P.S. This is my grandpa Jake in his navy uniform in 1942, it makes me happy.

Paranoia & Bad Movies

March 18th 2011:
Argh. Ever puke so hard you pop a blood vessel in your eyeball?

In other news, Papa Paranoid called the other day and asked me to make an "escape plan" for when the tsunami-earthquake-volcano trifecta inevitably hits Seattle.

I say inevitably with a large grain of salt.

And were that to happen, would there be anywhere to go? Pops suggested running for Canada. Unless Mother Nature were to kindly wait until the weekend (or weekdays after 4pm, please) to throw such an epic tizzy-fit, I doubt I would even make it out of downtown, let alone all the way to Canada (because nothing bad ever happens in Canada, right?).

Maybe we could hide out in the public library and burn books for warmth until my paleoclimatologist dad sends the blackhawk helicopters out to save me and my friends... um, hang on, that was just a terrible-ish movie.

Revision...

I will give John Cusak a ring and ask him to fly my ass out of here on a stolen Cessna, so I can sneak onto the giant arcs the rich people are building in the mountains... oh wait... that was just a really terrible movie....

Revision...

I will stay where I am and wait for Jesus to come and deem me righteous (no Lake of Fire, please), and therefore save me from the disaster that surely means the end of the word, so I can gather in the air with all the other righteous folks for the Rapture... or , errr.... that's just a story in an old ass book...

Man, we do love glorifying disaster, don't we? I mean, as long as it doesn't actually affect us.

Fatal Ennui

March 16th 2011:
Is it possible to die of boredom?

If so, my condition might be critical.

Sleepyhead

March 15th 2011:

So unbelievably tired today. I was late getting into bed last night for reasons too mundane to comment on (damn you crap TV), and for some ungodly reason, my eyes popped open at 4:45am, a mere 4 hours and 45 minutes after I got to bed.

I tried to fall back asleep. I did breathing exercises, I counted to a thousand, I tossed and turned, trying to find a more comfortable spot on our old, sunken mattress... to no avail. There was no reason to be up. I just was.

Now, I am feeling it so hard. It was nice for a week to walk to the bus in the light. Thank you daylight savings for relinquishing me back to the morning darkness and adding to the tiredness of the day.

Spring, can you hurry up and get here already? I could use some sun, and the weird rose tree in my backyard seems to think it is time.

Notes for tonight: no coffee after dark, do not start any new art projects that, left unfinished, will cause me to fret and think all night, remake the bed to avoid "blanket strangulation" and have a chat with the dogs about sleeping in their own beds, not mine.

3 Days in .5 Seconds

March 14th 2011:

Man, the weekend flew by... so glad I had today off.

The highlights: McKnight & Liz came to stay for the weekend, bringing new stuffie toys for the dogs (B & R say thanks). Saturday it was the Cha Cha for Eric's B-Day, then across the street to the Comet for Helms Alee. Home by 2am, just in time for daylight savings to switch over. That lost hour is so hateful. Sunday, breakfast at Senior Moose, a trip to the record store and a couple great finds (Repo Man Soundtrack on vinyl & a used copy of Charles Peterson's photo book, Screaming Life), home for a bit, then back out to Zayda's for tater tots and Minnesota Pops.

Makes me wish I had more time. So many trips I need to take and friends I don't see anywhere near enough of.

P.S. How freaked out was I when I heard about the tsunami in Japan on Friday? Seriously, exactly a week from that horrible nightmare I had. I spent the entire day paranoid that downtown Settle would be wiped out next. I can be so ridiculous sometimes.

Drip, drip, drip....

March 9th 2011:

The toilet is leaking, the roof is leaking... fingers crossed that the landlord actually fixes it today... it's been about a month on the toilet issue and over a year on the leaking roof. Seattle doesn't have the best renters laws, but man, I think a watertight roof clause is in there somewhere. Everytime we report a leak in the roof (and I mean not just a drip, but light fixtures filling with water and pots and pans filling with the water they are set out to catch), the landlord comes over and hammers another blue tarp to the roof.

Oh yes, we are that house in the neighborhood. I am sure our uptight condo-dwelling neighbors love it.

Alas. Sometimes I just look around at my life and think, "Really? This is it?"

Tsunami Time Bomb

March 7th 2011:

Not much time for blogging the last few days... tattoos to do, paintings to work on, shows to attend, friends to catch up with and so forth.

I had a horrible dream Friday night... the kind where you wake up in cold sweats, heart thumping, blood racing. I was on vacation somewhere in the south end of Florida with friends and family. We were staying at this old, wooden place built on a pier. I can still remember how it smelled, that dampness in the air, the heat of the sun. We were at the bar/restaurant on the lower level, everyone was scattered, smoking, ordering drinks, waiting for food to arrive. I went out to have a smoke and noticed the water. It was moving in a way no ocean should ever move. It would rise slowly, higher and higher, then drop suddenly, like the bottom had fallen out from under it. A Waiter or busboy walked by, told me the tides had been acting strange for three months. I started to worry, a sense of dread creeping in. I was thinking we should pack up and leave, something bad was going to happen. Somewhere, a man screamed. "Tidal wave!" I looked up to see a huge wall of water. My body told me to run, my brain told me to find my sisters, my mom, my husband and friends. People start screaming I love yous and goodbyes. Chris runs up to me and takes my hand. "There's nowhere to go anyway," he says. "Are you ready?"

This damn dream has stuck with me. Every detail. Now I feel like I am wasting time. What am I doing with my life? If a wave came and washed me away, what would I have left behind?

**P.S. Dream interpreters say dreaming of a tidal wave or tsunami represent an overwhelming emotional issue that demands attention ASAP/negative feelings have been bottled up too long/sadness & emotional stress in waking life... sounds about right.

Franken-tat

March 4th 2011:

Oh, glorious Friday! I wish I wasn't greeting you with a hangover and tacobell tummy... damn you tacobell, for having your drive-through open at 1am and for being so close to my humble abode. And damn you beer, for being so drinkable and for impairing my judgment and compelling me to scarf down a bean burrito and fiesta potatoes when I should have been tucked in bed and fast asleep.

That said, it was nice to go out, see some friends I rarely get to see and watch my lady of the People Eating People do what she does best. It totally sucks being the person that misses everything because I have to be in bed by 10:30 5 days of the week.

Stopped by ye' olde tattoo shop yesterday, was loaned a liner machine to try out - so stoked to give it a go. Perhaps tonight (after a lengthy nap) I'll do some work on my thigh...

**totally forgot to post this Friday... brain farted and hit save rather than publish... but here's the tattoo I did on Saturday.

Work in Progress

March 1st 2011:

March already? Jesus, time flies.

I've been obsessing about time, or more, the passage of time, lately. Maybe it's a product of having been in one place for so long, or it could be a result of the dreary ass Seattle winter, but I am really feeling every minute go by lately. It's rather suffocating, like all the air is slowly being sucked from the room, until eventually, there will be nothing.

It's just seems so damn wasteful. You know? There are better things I could contribute to this world than today's spreadsheet and the colorful little graphs illustrating nothing. At least I hope there is.

I am really getting into tattooing. It's a rush to do it, alter someone's body permanently. So stressful, that kind of responsibility, especially in the learning stages... so far I haven't given anyone anything that will end up one of those "worst tattoo" sites (knock on wood). The pic is of tattoo number 7, which is half done. Once the hair is shaded out and everything is fine-tuned, it's gonna be wicked cool.