No Satan

As promised, the secret room... 

Chris and I noticed a window on the outside of the back wall of our new house. Weird thing was, you couldn't see it from the inside. Then we noticed that the third bedroom ended about three feet short of the outside wall... we looked closer and found a spot where a piece of drywall had been screwed into place and painted over, weirder still. Given the facts, we figured we were dealing with a sealed off secret room!

So of course, my brain goes crazy, what could be back there? Obviously, it could only be two things - a million dollars in hidden treasure or a pile of dead bodies. Our realtor told us an old man had lived here on his own for 50 years before presumably kicking it (hopefully not in the house and definitely not in my bedroom). Clearly, this old man was either a serial killer or living in exclusion to hide his misbegotten fortune.

Given my usual luck and pessimistic outlook, I vote for serial killer, although I secretly hope for the million dollars in treasure... really, who wouldn't, right? So, last Saturday we decided to

open the room. We managed to hunt down two screwdrivers and proceeded to remove the piece of dry wall. We had to get out a chisel to pry the damn thing out of the wall, but we managed. Feeling like the dudes that discovered King Tut's tomb, we pulled back the section of drywall and behind it...

...Oh my god! Not a million dollars, that's for damn sure. Our little, hidden room looks like a set from the Blair Witch Project. It is covered in mold and the creepiest drawings ever produced by a child. Chris, ever chivalrous, tells me to go in first. I swear I felt like the floor was caving under me. I had a moment where I thought I was going to fall straight through the floorboards before adjusting to the room's oppressive vibe. My heart raced, I felt dizzy and nauseous, and I had to get my camera - for posterity, of course.

Below are a few pictures of the drawings that graced the walls in the room. There were also odd mathematical formulas on the west wall, fishing wire run in a web across the ceiling, and the name Eric Ross penciled slightly higher than the pictures. And yes, I am pretty sure this is how a six year old thought satan was spelled...

These are the least evil of the pictures... the rest had fangs and claws and were downright uncomfortable to look at.  I am wondering if, in the last image posted, the things on the front are boobs or arms... any thoughts? Needless to say, we sealed the room back up, shoved the heaviest piece of furniture we own in front of it and vowed to never speak of it again. If anyone has information about a missing child by the name Eric Ross, contact me... seriously.