A Case of the Blahs

January 6th 2011:

Nothing much to report today. Feeling a little drained and a lot ready for the weekend.

I'm still having trouble typing 2011 instead of 2010... anyone else?

Bueller.... Bueller.... Bueller....?

My Heart Has Joined the Thousand

January 5th 2010:

Feeling inspired. It's a good feeling, one that can be hard to come by in the gloomy Seattle winter months, so I am embracing it.
I drew up a couple tattoos for friends, then decided to go for it and tattoo myself. Tattooing is one of the most frustrating mediums of art I have attempted. Generally, I get obsessed, dig in, create, create, create...but with tattoos, human canvases aren't exactly readily available at all hours, which led to me start staring at my legs, two viable drawing surfaces just hanging out - maybe it's not the smartest thing in the world to do, but then, I've always been more impulsive than smart about my decision making process.
I have to say, it was weird tattooing myself, but hey, a girl has gotta practice and learn.
All in all, it came out okay...

Casket for Sale

January 4th 2010:

Time is a strange thing. For instance, today time seems to be moving at a snail's pace. Yesterday an hour flashed by in a blink, but now each minute feels like a lifetime.
I am in the same place I was yesterday (behind my desk, at work), doing the same things I did yesterday (spreadsheets, reports, customer service), so theoretically, time should pass the same way it did yesterday.
Remember how epic and eternal summers felt as a kid? Now they come and go before I have a chance to get my vitamin D levels out of the toilet.
Does extreme boredom have the ability to bend time? It certainly can slow it down. Could boredome be the key to time travel? I mean, you could only go backwards, of course, but if one were to get so absolutely bored time slowed to a stop, then get even more bored than that, could they slip back an hour, a day, a year?
Anyhoo...
Enough nonsense. Perhaps I just need a nap. Or more coffee. Or both.

I saw this ad in the furniture for sale section on craigslist:

Casket-
brown exterior- could be painted
the lid is hinged and split
never been used
interior is white
you pick it up
will take best offer

Nice of the poster to note the casket it not used... now there is an untapped market, though, right? Used coffin sales. It's a million dollar idea.

(Dis)organized

January 3rd 2010:

Totally forgot to reset my alarm last night... started out the first work week of 2011 by running out the door for the bus with no coffee, no makeup, no shower... just enough time to pull on some pants and boots and brush my teeth. Sigh.
I am going to blame David Cross for this. He made me laugh, and laughter made me forget all about Monday morning and work. Again, sigh.
Also, it is freezing cold out. The upside to this, frozen dog shit is much easier to shovel than rained on dog shit. Oh, how I love Mondays.
Last night I decided it was time to clean house, starting with my poor computer and the millions of files clogging it up. I am terrible at cleaning... or more, at purging. I'm pretty quick with the dusting, the laundry, the vacuum, but man, when I have to get rid of stuff and make some space, I suck. I decided to start by clearing out my Garageband files. It began okay, one file deleted, one file condensed and labeled. Then I was left with 25 odd files with benign names like "My Song 18" or "Punk Song 3."
Unable to just delete these, I obsessively opened and listened to each one. Some of them contained multiple songs on multiple tracks. After the initial playback, I began reprogramming drum beats, rewriting lyrics, rerecording guitar lines. Needless to say, I ended my clean-a-thon with only one file deleted, new tracks added to two songs, and one entirely new file and entirely new song, now labeled "My Song 26." For the third time... sigh.
Perhaps tonight I will fare better...

All the Wasted Years Behind you

January 2nd 2011:

Day two of my effort to actually keep a journal of sorts. Generally, I have been opposed to such a thing. So many thoughts that go through my head should never be uttered aloud, let alone written out and posted to the web. The journals I kept when I was younger were all burned in a fit if teen angst (and fear that one day my mom or someone might actually find and read them.. gulp), a thing I have never regretted once. Who cares who I had a crush on when I was twelve, or that I thought I was fat, or that I wished I had cool clothes and hated velcro, JC Penny and Payless.

I sure as shit don't.

What I do regret burning are the good days. The ones where I was full of joy and hope and the future was unlimited. Today, Chris said he felt like life was accelerating, a statement that seems all too true. I look around now and have to say, "this is my life, this is where I am." That childhood feeling that right now was temporary and better things were just ahead has, like Elvis, exited the building. I am left now with the choice to accept this tedious thing I have or to put some fucking hard work in and build my own tomorrow (a task that sometimes feels impossibly hard).

Since I have always been terrible at accepting the mundane, I guess I will have to start doing the whole "hard work" thing. Do I want a life that is dictated by an alarm clock and a bus schedule?

Hell no!

A New Year, A New Decade

January 1st 2011:

Went to sleep at 4am and woke at 7am to let the dogs out, suck down a bottle of water and pop a few aspirin. Back in bed until 10:30, then time for coffee... lots of coffee. Poor Roland was stumbling around the entire day, a late reaction to the sedatives the vet prescribed to help get him through the new year's party the night before. Hopefully one day, the poor guy will learn to not be so afraid of everyone and everything.

Hangovers suck, but the only thing I really regret about the previous night is the glass of Kraken rum I drank. Probably could have done without that. I had intended to start the new year off with a bang... get to painting, draw up a couple tattoos for friends, maybe finish this song I started writing. Instead, I spent the day on the couch watching shitty movies and eating pizza with the hubby, but these things happen. And why does my neck hurt so bad? It kills. Hmmm.

Not sure why, but I was thinking of death a lot. It used to bother me, but not so much anymore. I see these little old ladies on the bus every morning, with their bleeding lipstick and withered skin, walkers and canes and square heeled shoes. Do I want to live that long? I think our bodies have a natural expiration date, and that's okay. Living too long seems like staying at a party way too late, when the hosts obviously just wish you'd go home so they could go to bed. It's just awkward. When the time is up, I plan to let it ride... on to sweet oblivion.

But, until then, I had better get to work - goal for the upcoming year: get out of the "just get through the work-week" rut I've been in, become my own boss and build a life for myself that I actually love.

That would definitely be okay.

Busy Floating

I haven't blogged in a while, despite my valiant New Year's resolution to do so... it seems that so much is happening all at once, there is hardly the time.

Since the last post, I completed a new piece for the "Stories From the Sea" series and have preliminary sketches done for two more. I've also been toying with the idea of tattooing, a little obsession of mine... but more on that another time.

I have also been doing a little photo-a-day project (also known as the infamous 365 Days on Flickr)... when I started the project, I had no idea how huge a commitment it was going to be, especially on those days when the mirror seems to be my worst enemy, my hair untamable, the bags under my eyes epic... but good bad or ugly, the pics are up at flickr.com/christenshaw

Wedding plans are cranking along, despite my tiny budget... I can't believe it is actually happening, this whole "getting married" thing... true to my chronic lack of girlishness, I now realize that I know absolutely nothing about wedding ceremonies, traditions and rituals, but I'm doing my best, and like all things I do, it is going to be a little bit dark, definitely unusual, and hopefully fun for all involved.

Paintings are still up at the Sunset in Ballard, those interested in purchasing a piece (or ordering a print) can email me at info [at] christenshaw.com

Will post the new painting once it is dry... for now, back to work...